Negotiation Goals: Focus on the Other Side

In this article, you will learn how to frame a negotiation in the other person’s world, making it easier for them to accept your proposal while you still get what you need.

Most people enter a negotiation focused on what they want: a promotion, a signed deal, or a discount. Your outcome still matters, but it should not dominate the conversation. To reach it, you first need to understand how the situation looks to the other person.

A clear goal gives the conversation direction. A negotiation agenda then gives it structure. I use both ideas in the weekly cases and peer feedback built into my negotiation practice platform.

A negotiator’s goal should be to understand what the other person needs and create a solution for them that they can accept.

Two questions to ask before a negotiation

Before any meeting, you need to answer two questions:

1. Why are they meeting with me?

This question helps to find the client’s “Pain”. Why are they spending time talking to you? What is driving them?

2. How can I help them?

This question helps to find what you can do for the client. What do they need to solve their pain?

Usually, it’s hard to answer these questions before the meeting, but it’s important that you try. During the meeting, you can ask questions to find the answers.

Pain

The answer to the first question is an attempt to find the client’s “Pain”. Why are they spending time talking to you? What is driving them?

Pain is usually tied to basic things: money, reputation, health, safety, or control. Often, it will be different from what the client says and sometimes they will not even realize what it is.

Surface level: “I need a website.”

Real Pain: “I need to drive more sales in my car wash.”

Example: The Car Wash

Client: “I need a website.”

You: “Why do you need a website right now?”

Client: “Because my competitor across the street has one and he is getting all the new customers.”

You: “So you need to get more new customers who are looking for a car wash in this area?”

Client: “Exactly.”

You: “I know you were thinking about a website, but what do you think if we try to set up your Google Maps profile first? Most people find car washes on Google Maps while driving. We can set up your Google Maps profile first—it’s faster and cheaper.”

If you simply sold them a website, they might not gain any new customers and would be unhappy. By finding the real pain (losing local customers), you offered a better solution.

People hide the truth

Clients rarely tell you their true pain immediately. Often, they don’t even realize what it is.

A client says “your price is too high” (Surface), but actually they are afraid to ask their boss for more budget (Pain).

A man goes to the gym saying he “wants to get healthy” (Surface), but he is actually trying to impress a colleague (Pain).

Not getting to the core of the problem risks not solving the real issue. If you solve the Pain, the solution might be completely different but it will fit the client much better.

Questions find the Pain

It’s hard to help the client if you don’t know their problem. The easiest way to find the “Pain” is to ask. Inexperienced negotiators try to impress the client with a presentation. Experienced negotiators ask questions and listen.

Open-ended questions (what, how, why) are more effective at uncovering information than closed questions (yes/no). They invite people to explain the situation in their own words instead of giving you a one-word answer.

Bad (Closed Questions)

You: “Do you want to sign the contract?”

Client: “No.”

You: “Is price your main concern?”

Client: “Yes.”

You: “Will you agree if we give a 30% discount?”

Client: “Yes.”

These questions do little to uncover the problem. The client may answer without much thought or say whatever ends the conversation quickly.

Good (Open Questions)

You: “How do you see this solution helping your current process?”

Client: “Well, it would speed up our reporting, but I’m worried about the learning curve.”

You: “What concerns do you have about the delivery timeline?”

Client: “We have a big launch in September, so we need it before then.”

These questions force the client to think and explain. When they explain, they reveal their Pain.

By asking questions, you gain a better understanding of what the client needs and can frame your solution in their words. This makes them more likely to agree to it.

Bad Example

Client: “Your price is too high.”

You: “I understand. I can give you a 10% discount.”

Here, you are reacting to the surface statement. You lost 10% of your revenue and you don’t even know if it solves the problem.

Good Example

Client: “Your price is too high.”

You: “Why do you think it’s too high?”

Client: “We had a budget cut this quarter and I can’t ask for more money.”

You: “I see. So the problem is the budget cut for this quarter and getting approval.

What if we split the payment? You pay 50% now and 50% next quarter. This way it fits the budget cut and you don’t need to ask your boss for extra funds.”

Client: “That sounds perfect.”

By listening to the client and coming up with a creative solution, you are solving their specific problem, not just lowering your price.

Negotiation is not about automatically meeting in the middle. If you rush to compromise before understanding the other side, you may give away value without solving the real problem. Find the need beneath their position, then shape a solution that addresses it and still works for you.